By Juliet Reynolds

Let me set this scene: you were a girl who’d smoked out of the same nasty, chipped beaker bong her whole life, maybe rolled a few half-falling-apart joints here and there when the function friend group had no one else to turn to, and now you’re about to go into your third and final joint rolling masterclass with Mia Cristerna from MotaVated Academy, ready and able to roll the slickest, cleanest, fattest donut of your life. And you didn’t even know what a donut was until twenty minutes ago. If joint rolling bootcamp sounds magical at all to you, let me tell you—it was.

I had the pleasure of rolling in the desert for three consecutive MotaVated Academy’s “I Pearled It”rolling classes with Mia, the founder of MotaVated Academy, out of Tucson, Arizona, and professional rollers Desert Doinks and Lucky Meds at LaCuna Kava Bar in the heart of downtown Phoenix. I quite literally rolled with the best, and got to catch up with Mia and Mondo (Desert Doinks) puff, puff, passing on the patio before the third and final session, hearing all about the flowering world of professional joint rolling.

JULIET: What's your name, where are you from? How did we get to this table with you right here, right now?

MIA: My name is Mia, M I A. Last name Cristerna. We have Mondo here, too.

JULIET: Tell us your name and where you came from, too.

MONDO: I'm Mondo Perez, Armando, actually. I was raised in the west side of Arizona. I moved around everywhere, so I don't want to say I was in one place.

MIA: He’s an Arizona creature.

JULIET: A little desert rat.

MONDO: One hundred percent. From Mesa to Superior to Tempe, Chandler, Buckeye, like all over.

MIA: See, I'm kind of like that about California. I'm from L.A. originally, but then we moved to Tucson when I was nine or ten. Also lived in a bunch of places around the country. I’ve traveled. Spent time and chunks of life doing different things.

JULIET: How do you think that brought you to where you are now in the cannabis industry, in rolling specifically?

[Author’s note: This is where Mia then offers me the joint that she lovingly, masterfully rolled, and I declined even one puff for fear of not staying level-headed. Respectfully, of course, but as our conversation went on, I realized the truer implication of not sharing what she had crafted to pass with us. It was not just about not smoking weed, but it was about not engaging in what someone had deeply, truly put care and effort into. This puff, puff, pass contained a respect and understanding that I did not know could exist. But, we’ll get into that in a bit. For next time, I’ll indulge, yeah? Life’s only so long.]

MIA: [Laughs] For the record, I tried to pass the doink and she said no!

[Author’s note: I deserved that one, yeah.]

MIA: I don't come from any kind of success story, so it's always been a matter of just- go figure it out, you know. It doesn't matter if I'm the dishwasher or the head chef. The point is- I work there and I'm putting my time and energy in there, so it needs to be the best.

JULIET: No matter where life takes you, you're gonna do it to the fullest?

MIA: Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. Before cannabis, I worked IT, and before then I worked fine dining. Used to work at, like, three Michelin-star restaurants. If I'm gonna be a busser, I'm gonna go bus these million-dollar plates. If I'm washing dishes, they're gonna be Versace dishes.

JULIET: You’re gonna be the best damn busser they’ve ever seen.

MIA: Literally. I look one way, but my resume reads another, and people never really understand, but I’m like, “Dog, don't even trip.” I'm confident in myself because of just having to hold space in so many different places.

JULIET: Being judged for your appearance and then your resume reading a different way, how do you think that has changed with coming into an industry like this, an industry that is largely still stigmatized?

MIA: It comes with building community, right? Knowing people who are actually important parts of that game, too. It really is all about community, and trust, and reputation. And just, being a good person. Mondo, what would you say?

MONDO: The cannabis community is a lot safer to be out of pocket, if you will. Because more of us are generally judged by others for being that way.

MIA: When I'm working, when I’m in dispensaries, my favorite icebreaker is, “We already have something in common, we're already doing something that used to be illegal… but openly.” So if you can't get past that surface level with someone, then like, actually, I'm not going to pass you my joint. It's like that stoner etiquette, right? Puff, puff, pass. Cannabis, the plant itself, really brings people together in a different way.

JULIET: Coming to this class, you know, I had never really- I mean, I smoke weed. Like, I'm a girl, too. But, coming to this class really opened my eyes to the community aspect of it all. I'm curious then, compared to the different versions of smoking, how does this specific aspect of communing with the plant bring people together, and how did that bring us to this class?

MIA: It takes a level of respect. You become a developed smoker when you start paying attention. Connoisseurs don't just become- they practice, they study. Like a sommelier with wine. They don't just drink Barefoot all day and call themselves a pro.

JULIET: Oh, I do.

MIA: You're a Barefoot subject matter expert, yeah?

JULIET: You know it, that's me.

MIA: People and companies—let’s say pre-roll companies—all they do is make infused pre-rolls, and they're not actually encouraging their consumer base to become educated about their consumption. Rollers actually care about what they're rolling.

JULIET: I'm interested to hear more about what it means to you guys. I really love how you said it takes a level of respect.

MIA Rolling in general is a ritual, right? I talk a lot in the classes about preparing your mind, having realistic expectations of yourself, and remaining positive. A lot of that goes into the practice of rolling. You can’t be pissed.

MONDO: Everything shows in your joints. It's like a sense of ease, because whenever you focus on rolling, you're kind of expressing your control over your emotions.

JULIET: Would you say it's a form of self-expression? An art?

MONDO: As much as it’s an art, I would say this is more of a craft.

MIA: Absolutely. Everyone does it different, everyone gets there differently. It's something that you appreciate, right? There are creative rolls that are not meant to be smoked. Part of cannabis acceptance is also cannabis culture. And from creating that normality, I envision a world where rolling a fat ass joint is just as common as mixing a cocktail. Then there's your daily roll that's just kind of, like, how you practice self-awareness, too. If I ask Mondo, “Hey, roll up for me.” It's a sign of respect. When your homies trust you: “Aye, Juliet's got this roll.”

JULIET: I don’t know about that one.

MIA: You’re gonna get there!

JULIET: After these past three classes? Absolutely.

MIA: Sometimes there's a burden. Heavy is the crown and what not. If you roll professionally all day long, of course you don't want to go home and keep rolling.

JULIET: I’m curious about what it is to be a professional roller, I didn't even know that that was a profession.

MONDO: It's a wow factor to say the least, and it's something that's growing way faster than I expected. It's one thing to know how to roll, but learning to roll in front of someone else and with a crowd in front of you-

MIA: Gloves, no spit.

MONDO: It's learning a whole different thing, because you have to interact while doing it. You have to keep the crowd entertained. Knowing things is different than expressing your knowledge and expressing your love for it.

JULIET: Teaching is different than just practicing.

MIA: One hundred percent. People will be like, “Oh, rolling for Whiz Khalifa? Rolling for Snoop Dogg?” That's just one person. We’re talking about a room full of fifteen, twenty people in full PPE in a sanitary room going to town with scales and pokers. Having one person just breaking down weed, having another person just making tips, having another person weighing out- it's a whole process. Professional rolling is really taking what a machine can’t do and trying to have humans do it in the highest capacity possible. Professional rolling is considered a luxury item. Like a party favor. There's a whole company, Luxe Roll Bar—our sponsor for the class’s glass tips—that's what they do. Full suits, bow ties… it's a glove service.

JULIET: You couldn't really take the heart and soul out of it, is what it sounds like.

MIA: You can tell when a machine does it. Whereas with a roller, I'm like, “Mondo was chilling when he rolled that.” I can tell. Because I know him and I know how he rolls.

JULIET: It sounds like it's almost an extension of you guys. And that is such a fun thing to be able to do.

MIA: So then imagine when you roll up a hundred rolls for a client. And then it hits dispensary shelves and then there's people all across the States smoking something that you were hired to do because of the talent and the love that you put into it.

MONDO: That's the cool part. People want to share your work with others.

JULIET: I bet that's very fulfilling.
MIA: It is. Especially when it goes right…

MONDO: One time I rolled some really, really expensive weed for some really important people-

MIA: It's not cheap.

MONDO: Aaaaaand it sucked. That shit was too tight, it ran like shit.

MIA: I had that happen to me at a New Year's Eve event, and I rolled, like, an eight-gram joint with two grams of rosin in it, and somebody was sitting on it, holding it sideways, and then chugging it—nightmares. Nightmares.

JULIET: Does professional rolling ever get competitive, too?

MIA: Oh, one hundred percent. I love competition.

MONDO: I love it. I brag about my wins.

MIA: But, I also love learning, too.

MONDO: Yeah, I love learning from defeat. Defeat is your best friend in this.

JULIET: I feel like the most successful people that you could ever know in your life, they only got to that point because they failed.

MONDO: Failing is going to be the best thing that you can do. Wins are cool, but a win’s going to keep you either at your mindset, or it's going to build an ego.

MIA: When I first started rolling, you know how frequently I would do a fifty-piece just to be like, I can do it”? It’s like a level, right?

JULIET: With these classes, it seemed like you guys were in your element, you’re on that level. But, where would you want to go from here? Is it something like, teaching this event on a larger scale? Or like you said, having a cocktail bar almost, but for joints?

MIA: It exists, I know it exists. I've seen it. I think, like, the overall goal is just to create awareness. You don't have to smoke out of the same beaker bong from college for the rest of your days.

We should really mature with our consumption because it's forever, right? And not to say that you should smoke forever, but it's a part of your life. It's a ritual.

JULIET: It's like putting care into yourself.

MIA: Exactly.

JULIET: People go to college and they’re just taking Fireball shots every weekend. But, you grow up at some point. You're not going to a bar and ordering that.

MIA: It's like, that's how much I care. I have just really put myself in front of the rolling world because it's so cool to me. There's always going to be those people saying, “Are you sure?” But, you just keep doing what you're doing. Find the path of least resistance, right? I ride motorcycles too. So it's like, wherever the opening is, go for it. And, if there's other people doing it, ride next to them. That's why, in the class, we do certificates of completion with everyone's awards and signatures. Everyone has committed time to learning how to roll a joint. Like, if this was a pottery class, shit, you put in work, take all your little plates that you made-

JULIET: People would call that an art, you know? People would call that a craft.

MIA: People who make pots- potters? Pottery-ists?

JULIET: Shit, don't ask me.

MIA: Oh, I'm a POTter, yes. [Laughs]
JULIET: [Laughs] That sounds right to me, yeah.

MIA: My cannabis career has always been entirely flower-focused. I've always been focused on people understanding the love for the flower that goes into it.

JULIET: Would you ever want to branch out into different avenues?

MIA: Absolutely. For MotaVated Academy—MVA—I envision it to be something that companies can hire on as an addition to their educational program. I feel like that's a big lacking point in the Arizona cannabis industry. There is no safe space for education and consumption. Like, we were just sending people home blindly and hoping that they roll it right. Safe space is a real problem.

JULIET: Sounds like you put in the same care that you put into rolling into making sure there's a space for it, yeah?

MIA: Because I want it. I want it long term. And as long as there is space for it, I will find it.

Never had I felt so welcomed than in the space Mia and MotaVated Academy curated at LaCuna. I left with my own certificate of completion, a new community, badass skills that’ll impress the squad AND deepen my own respect for my consumption, and enough rolling papers to last into the next millennium.

JULIET: Before we wrap up, I just have to ask: what are your favorite products right now? Favorite flower? Some of your favorite techniques that you swear by when rolling?

MIA: I'm a big believer in tools. Don't roll blindly, roll like you care. I’ll also say that de-stemming is really important. Don't smoke leaves.

JULIET: I didn't even know that was a thing you're supposed to do until I took this class…

MIA: It's like fish, you know, you take out the bones. Clean up your weed! In terms of newest products and things… I'm definitely biased.

JULIET: Shit, plug your brand!

MIA: I run all of FENO’s R&Ds so I control all the menus, which means I smoke everything.

JULIET: So you are THE girl to ask.

MIA: Market research. It's a lot of market research.

JULIET: You’re just doing your job! I mean, even right now. [Laughs]

MIA: [Laughs] Exactly. This is what we’ve been smoking today- we just dropped this hybrid strain Trop Cherry. It’s a popular name, but ours just really makes me feel euphoric. This is what weed is for, you know? Like, we're not just going to bed here- Oh- I just got word that the rosin for class is getting delivered right now.

JULIET: Perfect timing. Any parting advice before we sit down for the third and final MotaVated Academy session?

MIA: Just stay Mota-Vated. Just know that we can be a tool for anything, and we all know that through experience. You have to smoke it to know it.

Thank you to Mia and MotaVated Academy, and the rest of the instruction team for teaching me how to roll with care.

CREDITS

Featured Rollers: Desert Doinks and Lucky Meds

Marketing director: Hilda with HCortez Media LLC

Videographers: Luna with Lunastudios LLC and Tyrique with Amor Fati Cinematique

Photographer: Hilda Cortez | HCortez Media

Venue: LaCuna Phoenix

Sponsors: RollBuddies, Luxe Roll Bar, Elements, Raw, WeedMaps, Tropics, FENO, Varz

Agency: Contagion Media

Contact LOUD Magazine

"You Have to Smoke It to Know It": Sesh With MotaVated Academy’s Mia Cristerna and Professional Joint Roller Desert Doinks

By Juliet Reynolds